Why we should all be excited for the last Twilight film

I'm sure as a lot of you know the last movie in the Twilight "saga" (more like the misadventures of a dry uninteresting girl and her lust for supernatural boyfriends) is coming up soon. There's not really any point in discussing why these are terrible films. It's been discussed on the internet a billion times with people like Stephen King giving their own evaluation of these wretched pieces of trash disguising as literature and film. But after this film premieres and all of the teenyboppers and scary middleaged women drool over it for a few hours, it's all over. We're free men. No longer will we be dragged into these movies by our girlfriends and wives. No longer will Comic-Con tickets sell out in seconds by rabid teenage girls. Vampires won't be hip and cool, meaning they'll go back to the bloodsucking menaces they're supposed to be. Oh, this film will probably break the box office records of far more well made and interesting films. And sadly, yes, Twilight will probably make a permanent ugly scar on the face of pop-culture. But when this fad is over, the Hunger Games fad will take over. I will be happy to see the day when a story about a dystopian society where children fight each over to death becomes more popular than a book where one bitchy girl chooses between two uninteresting men. Sure, we'll have to suffer through the 50 shades of gray fad as well, but I don't think women will be happy about dragging their boyfriends to a movie guaranteed to be somewhere around softcore to hardcore porn. At least that'll be the case if the movie is a faithful adaption of the book. Let's all celebrate the end of Twilight by going to the film this fall with a bunch of friends to riff on it for our enjoyment... and the irritation of others!

2012 Summer Olympics Closing Ceremony: my thoughts

The Stadium looked like a Michael Bay film by the end

So, there's a lot to talk about here. I loved a lot of the Olympic Closing ceremony, and also DESPISED a significant portion of it. The opening bit was... interesting with the cars and Churchill, but it didn't have that jawdropping quality of the opening ceremony with the industrial revolution bit. And it was followed by One Direction which only made things worse. The John Lennon tribute was quite special, any excuse to see him on my HD TV is good with me.

John Lennon in glorious 1080p

It was touching to hear the whole stadium singing along with him. I know John Lennon would have been there in person if he was alive today. The idea behind the Olympics is what John Lennon campaigned for his entire life, that all nations would come together in peace putting aside petty politics and ideology. Oh and David Bowie of course. I'm not into fashion, at all, but tying it with the Bowie tribute was actually clever. Sitting through a fashion show is easier when you hear David Bowie blaring in the background. Still didn't give a fuck about any of clothes featured, just the song of course. And to my surprise Russel Brand didn't make me nauseate after hearing him sing a classic Beatles song. Good on you Russel. Also we got a Queen/Freddie Mercury tribute. Boy, i have to say it was magical seeing Freddie up on that screen, singing to the audience... and having them respond back. I started getting chills it was just incredible, like reliving a Queen concert all over again. I could never grow tired of hearing his voice.

We miss you Freddie

Then Brian May comes out and it only becomes more magical. Brian is just as amazing on that guitar as he ever has been. They start playing we will rock you, I'm anticipating what singer they could possibly get to do Freddie justice. They didn't even need to sound exactly like Freddie, just someone who could kick ass with said song. However, to my shock and horror, we were forced to witness Jessie J (that chick who's like a poor man's Amy Winehouse, but alive) singing our precious Freddie Mercury song... WHAT THE HELL WERE THEY THINKING?! There were even points when I could tell through his expressions, Brian May was trying to hold back frustration.  It's as if he was trying to say "fuck you bitch, you're ruining our song!"  Jessie J is no Freddie, and I think we all know that.  If we counted currency in souls, Freddie would be worth more than 10 billion Jessie J souls.

Has anyone found my talent? I think Noel misplaced it.

However, I was pleased to see Liam Gallagher and his new band performing. I forgot what the name of it was , but I tend to just call it Oasis minus Noel Gallagher. I'm not sure if Liam's singing voice is declining in quality or if he just doesn't sound as good without Noel backing him up, but something was wrong. The band in general just doesn't have that same energy it once had years ago. It's a shame really. I think Noel was the heart and soul of the band, and the conflict between Liam and Noel just crushed their spirits in several ways. Also, the Spice Girls, the fucking Spice Girls, sounded as terrible as they've ever been. I can't believe people call their moaning music. The general public was hyped about them reuniting? It's like if The Back Street Boys decided to reunite with the New Kids on the Block... no one would want to see that...

FUCK... YOU

Anywho they sounded absolutely godawful, there's not much more I can say about them other than I nearly grabbed a shotgun and blasted the brain out of my head.  Oh and, when I want to see a reunion on The Olympic in Britain, I expect Black Sabbath or Led Zeppelin in the future.  Not the godamn Spice Girls.  Earlier there was a actually a decent cover of The Who's pinball wizard... then followed by the worst shit on the charts that shouldn't have any place at a celebration of British culture and music. Though Fatboy Slim was cool... he's always been cool...

Any man who gives us a music video featuring Walken dancing is a cool guy

I was happy that we finally got the Monty Python tribute I've been anticipating. Eric Idle got on stage and sang Always look on the Brights ide of Life. It was fun seeing Prince William sing along and seeing Idle dance along with Roman legions and Bollywood dancers ( though I think the segment with the bollywood dancers went on a little too long.) Sure it wasn't as overthetop as I was hoping it would be

Alright, the guy in the cannon was pretty overthetop

but I think the tribute captured the overall spirit of Monty Python well. It was silly goofy, and while I do prefer John Cleese, Eric Idle did a great job. Also it was hilarious seeing NBC censor the word "shit" for the overly sensitive audience in America. We Americans have a proud tradition of getting butt hurt over the use of swear words not used in a vulgar or unnecessary fashion. Speaking of NBC, I was pissed at them for cutting an entire hour of really good acts because they wanted to show their newest shitcom instead of... you know... The Olympics. If I wanted to see a comedy about sick animals I would count the number of flies I've swatted at in one day and submit the results to PETA.

This doesn't make me want to stop beating elephants,
it makes me want to beat attractive models
and offer them as sacrifice to Jungle nomads.

Overall, I think it was a mixed ceremony with some great moments, and some bad moments. I'm looking forward to Brazil, but I don't know there's something about being surrounded by British culture that I'll miss during the next Olympics. I grew up a fan of a lot of British things, Harry Potter and the like, and so I've grown rather fond of Britain and their people as a result. The handing off of the Olympics to Brazil was an interesting part of the ceremony, with people who looked like they had glow-in-the-dark lego heads

The guys on the right, maybe I'm just
growing crazy, but those look like lego heads.

So over all I think this has been a great Olympic games with a lot of memorable moments, and I can certainly say it's been a fantastic two weeks to be British if only I was British. There was definitely a large amount of pride during this ceremony as Britain proved that they could host a successful Olympic games despite constant scepticism.  I'm not actually British, but a man can dream ya know.

I enjoyed the Olympics, but they only brought the Queen bad memories...

The music industry: product of class warfare

Today was the Outerlands festival in San Francisco. While I'm not going to have a chance of attending it due to being at a giants game, a thought occured to me. This was one of the biggest Outerlands festivals on record and the primary age group in attendance were young adults and teenagers like me. They came to see people with talent, legends and legends in the making who write their songs and sing with passion. I think our generation is finally fed up with the music that's been handed down to them by huge record labels. We're rebelling by listening to music that doesn't belong to us, music created by past generations, music that WE can connect with. This isn't the party generation as most music labels would like us to believe. We're a generation screwed over by past generations, can't pay for college, can't get jobs, stuck with a massive pile of debt. We're angry, we're pissed off. We don't want to waste our time partying, we want our voices to be heard! Perhaps the music industry is like a propeganda wing of the Republican party. They want us to ignore the social issues plagueing our generation and instead believe that everything is ok, we should be haveing fun. More and more of us are discovering that their brainwash campaign is nothing but that, a brainwash campaign. The only reason Nicki Minaj, Justin Bieber and Rhianna keep appearing in the music charts is because they have large corporations giving them money. Money to try and turn all of us into stupid apathetic slobs. If all of them disapeared from the charts today, I don't think anyone would care. People may even be celebrating because all of those dipshits who's main purpose is to display how great it is to be wealthy will be gone from public conciousness. That's another thing that I find suspicious about the billboard 100. It's filled with songs that are affectionate towards money. I have no clue if the conservatives fund these acts (don't mean to steryotype, but most prefer country, the downfall of country music is a rant I'll save for a different post) but they both seem to have the same philosophy. "Fuck the poor, fuck the middle class, only the wealthy matter." Well, A new revolution in music is occuring and we're all preparing to fight the 1% overlords of mainstream music. Will you join me in overthrowing the pop tyrants comrades?

tired of being tired

I'm tired, and exhausted and lazy and feeling lazy and just generally meh. I'm also tired of being tired and having nothing to talk about other than the fact that I'm tired. Luckily this is my last day of camp and thus you'll begin to see a post that doesn't revolve around me rambling. Fear not! In a few days I'll be blasting Michael Bay the Republican party and whatever other thing there is in the universe to blast.

NSFW... especially if you work at Samsung.

So, today I discovered that our smart phones and tablets... technologies of the future really just want to fuck us in the ass. Sort of like the infamous scene in the Big Lebowski when Walter is smashing all those car windows... except right now I really want to smash the windows feature on my phone. So, I tried using my phone to update my blog, I tried twenty times to update my blog using my phone. Probably took longer than that. I used at least 20 sites to do it. I had the blog fully typed out, and in a moment of stubborness worthy of a Donkey or a Donkey Kong I refused to type it out again after it wouldn't post said message on my blog. It was my moment of writing absolute garbage, and typing it out again when I didn't feel the same way felt wrong. So I tried copying and pasting using my phone, took me a while, but just like learning to ride a digital binary based bicycle I got the hang of it. So I posted it again... nothing... I tried posting it again... nothing. I began pulling my hair out, or trying to pull my hair out before I realized the Patrick Stewart bald head look wouldn't compliment my facial features well. It took me a while to realize that the mobile blogger feature is... the most useless creation ever made. Wanna make a new blog every time you send a text message? Do you want to eventually make over 1000 blogs floating around in cyberspace never to be found or read again? If you're not interested, then you're probably more sane than the people at google who made blogger messenger. So I decided to go to the full blogger site rather than the pathetic piece of turd mobile site and tried posting my fully written blog there... and then I nearly threw my indestructibly cased smart phone at my less indestructible TV. It wouldn't let me paste onto blogger. So I asked how to post from my phone to blogger on Yahoo answers. I still haven't heard a response, because when you try to ask a valid question on that site, no one is inteligent enough to actually answer valid questions. So I tried saving my blog as a draft on my email account and then posting it to blogger through my tablet. I go into the email section on my tablet... and what do you know... I discover it'll probably take an entire century to finally load said draft. So I try copying and pasting the draft as a Facebook note on my phone, and using my tablet to copy and paste the note... but it wouldn't copy. So after every single option was exhausted and preparing to form an angry mob destroying the worlds supply of technology I gave a last ditch effort to paste the fully written blog onto my blog by using my phone. Low and behold I discover you have to click on thr HTML button... the godamn fucking piece of shit mocking insidious HTML button glaring at me the entire time. Of course this all could have been avoided by using my computer... but then I wouldn't have had something to rant about, now would I? Technology: loves you when you love it, hates you when you hate it.

So... tired... no creativity... no conjuntion words

Blarghada blarhh angry angry rant rant... rage... witty remark... punchline... intellectual point... more arguing... positive statement... conclusion... joke after conclusion. If I'm too exhausted to be angry at the world, I may as well post a formula for being angry at the world. Watching over groups of Children and lifting heavy objects for several hours has left me in a stupor... and willtomorrow. I'm not Superman... or Ironman... it.any superhero for that matter. I don't know where I was going with that metaphor, but it must have sounded good a few seconds ago. The story behind how this post finally came to be will be discussed in my next blog... and damn do I have a lot to say.

Welcome ladies and gentlemen to... STUFFI tried ex

I tried making this more pixelated in photoshop,
but Photoshop has been out against me since I
cheated on it with paint.

The world sucks.  Perhaps not all of it, but the aspects of the world that I enjoy discussing. My name is Ryan Roth Morgan, I'm currently 18 years old... (hello future 30 year old self, how's it hanging?) and a game design major at Academy of Art University.  I enjoy giving my often passionately reserved opinions on Culture, Popular culture, Political culture, daily annoyances culture, people who annoy me culture, and culture culture.Now you may be thinking "How does a guy who plans on making video games for a living have any sort of qualification to speak about any of these things?".  To which I reply "That is bullshit Mr. Douchey McCbaggington hypothetical reader, you are stereotyping my species!".  We live in the age of information, thus the internet has provided countless news pieces, secret documents. and pictures of cats that were once under media control.  Therefore I have just as little a life as everyone else in my generation, but I'm a bit more outspoken.  So everyone gather around the pixelated campfire image on this post and I'll tell you scary stories of former Alaskan governors who spout gibberish, directors who continually make worse films, and people being mean to me on Subways.  Spooky stuff.  Try not to wet the bed at night in fear.