After being in a bit of a... mental slump... I'm back like Rocky getting ready to take down a soviet guy with an unconvincing accent.
This is a new bit I plan on doing every... Monday where I come up with terrible Twilight Zone premises that wouldn't even be looked at by NBC (I know, I'm only the 7 billionth person to come up with a joke directed at NBC)
Cue intro:
The plot revolves around an Everyman named Jim jim Johnson. Jim Jim Johnson wants to perform a simple everyday errand, go to the bank and cash a check. He drives a normal average suburban car. However when he arrives at the bank every spot is filled, every single spot. He asks a female officer walking near him about it. She replies "You're more likely to find a parking spot in San Fransisco" Jim continues to drive around searching for a parking spot, until his dull average mind realizes it's been an entire week since he first tried to find a parking spot.
None of the cars in the lots surrounding the bank have moved for an entire week, and Jim is growing dehydrated and crippled by starvation, because you know, an entire week without food or water does that to people. He finds a local drive-through that has mysteriously appeared by him for no reason other than to advance the plot, because it's the Twilight Zone, weird shit happens. Jim notices that all of the employees are female in this fast food restaurant. Jim begins to grow rather suspicious of this revelation, but doesn't care because he has a typical male mind and is rather fond of attractive women.
Jim hasn't listened to anything but talk radio for the entire week and is growing rather bored of the radical speeches given by extreme feminist talking heads. So Jim switches the dial away from station XY 180, but soon realizes every radio station plays, Adele, Abba, Nicki Minaj, Carly Simon, etc. Chick music. Jim begins freaking out when he decides to drive to the local drive in movie theater, which he conveniently has located near him because he can't park, and the plot says so. The only movies playing are chick flicks starring Jennifer Aniston and Meg Ryan. Jim flips out by getting out of his car and flashing his man parts to the entire city, strolling around with his pants off. He's arrested, by two female officers and discovers that he's been transported to a timeline where being a man is illegal, all women are lesbians. They reproduce through some scietific thing. Jim is then thrown in a cell with a group of old Deadheads high on LSD and spends eternity having people think he's a space alien. Jim must now be made to suffer for not being interesting in any way at all, in... The Twilight Zone. Oh and apparently alternate dimensions ruled by Amazonian societies are really hard to find parking spots in, go figure.
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