Buy two hugs for $60 now and the second one is FREE

    Have we suddenly landed in a bizarro earth where human contact requires payment? 

It's the only explanation I have for people who put up "free hugs" signs or wear "free hugs" t-shirts.

I'll make an exception for poor Mr. Voldemort here.

 Since when has a free hug been a rare and elusive concept that society tracks down like a space bounty hunter locating illegal spice traders?  Or at least the concept of a "free hug" sounds exactly like that. Come on people.  It's a hug. It's common.  I'd understand if you love hugging people but say "I love hugging people" not "free hugs".

     I'll be fair, why, yes... you \would in fact NEED to try and fit more text on a flat surface, but is that such a difficult task? Besides, why in Cthulu's name would I want to hug some random stranger who could possibly have... ulterior motives. It reeks of desperation, like the only contact they can muster with society is performed by announcing their desire to hug people. Perhaps they're parasitic life forms feeding off of people's life forces. Maybe they're poorly trained Russian spies trying to plant bugs on US citizens. Or maybe just maybe... I'm waaaaaaay over-thinking this and they're actually just socially awkward men with low self-esteem trying to find love in the age of information. However I still think the most likely scenario is that they're all Russian spies.

Hey, it wants to hug me! that's totally inconspicuous...

             On the opposite, more sinister end, however there is quite a brilliant idea for those who are desperate enough for cash. Charging people for physical human contact.  Just set up a booth in whatever place contains a large amount of single lonely people (like Detroit, but with less gun violence), charge $5 for a small poke, maybe $10 for a friendly handshake, $20 for a warm hug, $50 for a kiss... and you'll be making bank in no time. It's like prostitution but without the STD s and other added job risks.  Also, it's legal... I think.  Might want to check into that.  I'm not sure if charging money for body contact is part of the constitution.  It's an important issue, I'm surprised it hasn't been brought up in any debates during this election year. Anyway,  it's a brilliant idea. In fact if any anyone would like to co-sponsor my new business venture just give me a call. If I don't receive any calls, I'll likely become one of those single lonely people holding up "free hugs signs". So please don't turn me into a hypocrite...

You're turning me into a hypocrite, aren't you people?

godamn it...

As you can see, I have recently been suffering from enlarged cranium disease

The "Republicans" want your voting rights.

      The truth of the matter right now is, the Republicans, Conservatives whatever you choose to call them are scared.  They know Mitt Romney is a weak candidate and they fear he won't win the election.  Meanwhile they've been waging a war on essentially every form of minority in the country, and single women.   Basically anyone who's not a rich old white man has been under attack by the Republican party.  In fact before this convention the party its self urged its members to vote for Romney and gather all of their support for him.  To be honest, I've never seen a political party so stupendously desperate before.  So like I said, the Republican party is shitting their pants right now because they know they have an extremely weak candidate. 

        So, what have they been doing to compensate for it?  Taking away voter rights of course.  Tea Party governors across the nation have been introducing voter bills that make voting significantly more difficult for certain sections of the population. Voters without ready to access to computers, drivers licenses, cars..  basically the kind of people that they've been planning to screw over.  Poor people. They know they take up a significant population of their state, so they limit their freedoms rather than actually do the right thing and serving the people they were elected to protect. They're doing a good job of it too, covering it up by preventing voter fraud, a supposedly devastating practice committed in this country. A practice that in reality was only committed by 87 people... nationwide. 87 people obviously aren't going to be the deciding factor in a nation of more than 10 million people (I don't know the actual statistic on that, but I know it's at least that much).
   
         Voting is a fundamental right. It's what this country was built on. The founding fathers were brilliant men and it's amazing what these politicians have done to fuck up their vision. Honestly, this concerns me more than anything else in the election year. The Tea Party and their corporate sponsors are quickly beginning to grip this nation with an iron fist and the general population is too blind and ignorant to see it. They've bought the news, they're buying elections, they're twisting laws around to regulate the way we live our lives. I'm not saying the democrats on my side are perfect angels either. Hell, the bullshit issues some of the people on my side pull out to try and distract from larger issues (the whole Chick-fil-a "scandal" being one) are contributing to the plague of stupidity devastating our nation. But unlike the Tea Party republican tactics, I don't see any thing sinister about it. The Tea party on the over hand is bringing up issues that we resolved a long time ago.  Before this election, 98% of women took contraceptives, and now we're questioning their use?  These guys are practicing Stalinism, and just like Stalin they're brainwashing anyone who disagrees with their policies to be enemies of "progress" enemies who go against their mindless patriotism.  I know not all Republicans are bad people, I recognize that.  But the ones that are have currently hijacked the party and they won't stop until they hijack the entire country with them.

    To be fair, the democrats in congress appear to simply be giving up altogether. They're stepping aside and letting "conservatives" play the show as they've been doing for the past few years. They've become cowards.  Cowards too fearful for what they stand for.  They're too powerless to stop the onslaught of Corporations hoping to turn this shattered nation into a true to form dystopia.  We need to stop them, we need to stop them now.  What the Tea Party philosophy is doing to this country is quite unprecedented, and it may be hard to believe.  It's not a conspiracy though, the signs are glaringly obvious.  Mitt Romney is their pawn in a massive game of political chess.  And if you vote for him, things are only going to get worse.

      

Despite all my rage I am still just Nicholas Cage

Sometimes it seems like Nick Cage has been in every move ever made.  While that's not entirely true here's what would happen, if he was in just about every movie ever made...

Now why stop at that, what if Nick Cage begins invading the world of music...

Or the art world...

Twilight Zone rejected episodes #1: The car that could never park

After being in a bit of a... mental slump... I'm back like Rocky getting ready to take down a soviet guy with an unconvincing accent.

This is a new bit I plan on doing every... Monday where I come up with  terrible Twilight Zone premises that wouldn't even be looked at by NBC (I know, I'm only the 7 billionth person to come up with a joke directed at NBC)
Cue intro:

     You're about to enter somewhere, a place where weird shit happens.  We don't really have an explanation for it, but this place... you can hear things and see things.  No, we're not talking about LSD or comment threads discussing marijuana.  This is the Twilight Zone and we're going to crush your mind with our superior intellect in... the Twilight Zone. (Dramatic music cue)

    The plot revolves around an Everyman named Jim jim Johnson. Jim Jim Johnson wants to perform a simple everyday errand, go to the bank and cash a check. He drives a normal average suburban car. However when he arrives at the bank every spot is filled, every single spot. He asks a female officer walking near him about it. She replies "You're more likely to find a parking spot in San Fransisco" Jim continues to drive around searching for a parking spot, until his dull average mind realizes it's been an entire week since he first tried to find a parking spot.

          
       None of the cars in the lots surrounding the bank have moved for an entire week, and Jim is growing dehydrated and crippled by starvation, because you know, an entire week without food or water does that to people. He finds a local drive-through that has mysteriously appeared by him for no reason other than to advance the plot, because it's the Twilight Zone, weird shit happens. Jim notices that all of the employees are female in this fast food restaurant. Jim begins to grow rather suspicious of this revelation, but doesn't care because he has a typical male mind and is rather fond of attractive women.

   Jim hasn't listened to anything but talk radio for the entire week and is growing rather bored of the radical speeches given by extreme feminist talking heads. So Jim switches the dial away from station XY 180, but soon realizes every radio station plays, Adele, Abba, Nicki Minaj, Carly Simon, etc. Chick music. Jim begins freaking out when he decides to drive to the local drive in movie theater, which he conveniently has located near him because he can't park, and the plot says so. The only movies playing are chick flicks starring Jennifer Aniston and Meg Ryan. Jim flips out by getting out of his car and flashing his man parts to the entire city, strolling around with his pants off. He's arrested, by two female officers and discovers that he's been transported to a timeline where being a man is illegal, all women are lesbians.  They reproduce through some scietific thing. Jim is then thrown in a cell with a group of old Deadheads high on LSD and spends eternity having people think he's a space alien. Jim must now be made to suffer for not being interesting in any way at all, in... The Twilight Zone.  Oh and apparently alternate dimensions ruled by Amazonian societies are really hard to find parking spots in, go figure.

First time seeing Shutter Island

So I saw shutter Island, it was interesting weird and hallucinagenic... very hallucinagenic. I tried writing a review but my attempts were futile. So here are my reactions while viewing this trippy mind-bending thriller. I find it difficult to find the exact words to describe portions of this film, but pictures speak louder than words regardless. Good movie, but as these recreations of my facial expressions while watching it shall indicate, it's weiiiiird.

I hope that review was thorough enough.

The Sci-fi (syfy) channel doesn't like nerds anymore

      "There's nowhere where there's no Star Wars "

- Person from Collection Intervention commercial

When your girlfriend forces you to get rid of your precious
collection, take note of this rage comic...

The Sci-fi channel (I'm not calling it SYFY, jackasses!) apparently wants us to not be jealous of the awesomely nerdy collections that accumulate in the homes of awesomely nerdy nerds. They call this show Collection Inervention, and from what I can tell by the ads each episode is a mini-tragedy. They force men to give up their precious incredible life-time devoted collections of awesome shit to please their wives and girlfriends. There isn't anything mentally wrong with them, they just love their collection of action figures and whatnot. They're not kleptomaniacs, this is stuff that took ages to find and track down. Then because one female walks in who doesn't like Star Wars or StarTrek, and doesn't feel that same passion regarding whatever area of pop-culture said nerd is into, they have to give it all up?! Bullshit! They need to Break up with that chick and find someone who shares the same love of... whatever aspect of geek culture they're into. Never give up your identity as a geek just because society indicates that decorating your house with Stormtroopers and wookies is apparently dumb and immature.
         
      We live in a time where nerds are no longer the hipsters they once were. This is an era where Hollywood is making movies about superheroes people never even knew existed before. An era where a Star Trek movie of all things grosses a huge amount of money. A time when wearing that Battlestar Galactica t-shirt you keep in a droor is considered cool now. Why is is then that decorating one's house with said stuff is still a no-no. Now we have the sci-fi channel, who once aired such thought provoking and intelligent shows as the previously mentioned Battlestar Galactica, and Stargate SG1 telling us to throw away our nerdiness because it clashes with the bland mainstream taste of some chick who's forceing you to change who you are. I don't care if suddenly the attractive and somewhat attractive female unions decide to boycott me because I like displaying my love of geek culture in whatever way I feel like it. I will stand up here today against what suburban ideology dictates us to do.

I want it all... I want it all... I want it all
and i want it now!

      In the ads, what I presume is the host of the show, states when going into someone's house; "There's nowhere where there's no Star Wars". I can think of at least 10 people off the top of my head who would kill to have a collection like they showed. The Sci-fi channel already turned their back on the fanbase they were originally appealing to by not giving us a unique innovative space saga since Stargate Universe went off the air. Now they're focusing on reality shows about ghosts and hunting Bigfoot. That's not what sci-fi fans want to see more of. They even changed their name to SyFy to further dumb down the intellect of their programs. And now with this Collection Intervention show they're launching a direct attack on the nerds that once flocked to their channel, I for one cannot stand for this! Until Syfy (groan, that name makes me cringe every time I see it) puts on another noteworthy sci-fi epic... I won't be happy.

Still not as bad as the new "History" channel line-up...

I'm sorry, I thought this was TV for guys who like History
You know... on the History channel.

In memorium: My long curly hair 2008-2012

Tomorrow I will begin a new stage of my life,

    not college, not marriage, but my hair. 

 I've had the same hair style since 8th grade. It's been a part of who I am. That kid with the long dirtyblonde curls. Even in my worst moments, my signature hair has awlways been there to remind of who I truly am. I remember staring at pictures of Jim Morrison, one of my idols from a bygone era. I could brag that I had his hair, I had Jim Morrison's hair. The way it elegantly drifted from my cranium, an extension of my inner being. You've always been, there rain and shine. Combed back, combed forward, stuffed into a spock wig. Good bye teenage hair. Goodbye teenage self. My hair will be short and blue now. No longer will I be mistaken for a girl in San Francisco. I'll miss you, but tomorrow shall be a new dawn, a glorious blue dawn. None of this would have ever happened without you curly hair, none of it. You were a true hero guiding the path for men with untameable long hair everywhere. Farewell!... Farewell!

 Oh dead skin cells protruding from my scalp
How I adored you, so warm, so soft
 I loved you always, despite falling in my mouth
Large, smooth, like the breasts of Lara Croft
 but not the sequels, that really sucked
The original tomb raider, now a classic
 My brains were arguable, body never buffed
 But my hair was consistent, wild and spastic

 in the best of days, in the worst of days
My hair was there, never changing ways.

 Am I seriously crying over hair?! Jesus!

Why we should all be excited for the last Twilight film

I'm sure as a lot of you know the last movie in the Twilight "saga" (more like the misadventures of a dry uninteresting girl and her lust for supernatural boyfriends) is coming up soon. There's not really any point in discussing why these are terrible films. It's been discussed on the internet a billion times with people like Stephen King giving their own evaluation of these wretched pieces of trash disguising as literature and film. But after this film premieres and all of the teenyboppers and scary middleaged women drool over it for a few hours, it's all over. We're free men. No longer will we be dragged into these movies by our girlfriends and wives. No longer will Comic-Con tickets sell out in seconds by rabid teenage girls. Vampires won't be hip and cool, meaning they'll go back to the bloodsucking menaces they're supposed to be. Oh, this film will probably break the box office records of far more well made and interesting films. And sadly, yes, Twilight will probably make a permanent ugly scar on the face of pop-culture. But when this fad is over, the Hunger Games fad will take over. I will be happy to see the day when a story about a dystopian society where children fight each over to death becomes more popular than a book where one bitchy girl chooses between two uninteresting men. Sure, we'll have to suffer through the 50 shades of gray fad as well, but I don't think women will be happy about dragging their boyfriends to a movie guaranteed to be somewhere around softcore to hardcore porn. At least that'll be the case if the movie is a faithful adaption of the book. Let's all celebrate the end of Twilight by going to the film this fall with a bunch of friends to riff on it for our enjoyment... and the irritation of others!

2012 Summer Olympics Closing Ceremony: my thoughts

The Stadium looked like a Michael Bay film by the end

So, there's a lot to talk about here. I loved a lot of the Olympic Closing ceremony, and also DESPISED a significant portion of it. The opening bit was... interesting with the cars and Churchill, but it didn't have that jawdropping quality of the opening ceremony with the industrial revolution bit. And it was followed by One Direction which only made things worse. The John Lennon tribute was quite special, any excuse to see him on my HD TV is good with me.

John Lennon in glorious 1080p

It was touching to hear the whole stadium singing along with him. I know John Lennon would have been there in person if he was alive today. The idea behind the Olympics is what John Lennon campaigned for his entire life, that all nations would come together in peace putting aside petty politics and ideology. Oh and David Bowie of course. I'm not into fashion, at all, but tying it with the Bowie tribute was actually clever. Sitting through a fashion show is easier when you hear David Bowie blaring in the background. Still didn't give a fuck about any of clothes featured, just the song of course. And to my surprise Russel Brand didn't make me nauseate after hearing him sing a classic Beatles song. Good on you Russel. Also we got a Queen/Freddie Mercury tribute. Boy, i have to say it was magical seeing Freddie up on that screen, singing to the audience... and having them respond back. I started getting chills it was just incredible, like reliving a Queen concert all over again. I could never grow tired of hearing his voice.

We miss you Freddie

Then Brian May comes out and it only becomes more magical. Brian is just as amazing on that guitar as he ever has been. They start playing we will rock you, I'm anticipating what singer they could possibly get to do Freddie justice. They didn't even need to sound exactly like Freddie, just someone who could kick ass with said song. However, to my shock and horror, we were forced to witness Jessie J (that chick who's like a poor man's Amy Winehouse, but alive) singing our precious Freddie Mercury song... WHAT THE HELL WERE THEY THINKING?! There were even points when I could tell through his expressions, Brian May was trying to hold back frustration.  It's as if he was trying to say "fuck you bitch, you're ruining our song!"  Jessie J is no Freddie, and I think we all know that.  If we counted currency in souls, Freddie would be worth more than 10 billion Jessie J souls.

Has anyone found my talent? I think Noel misplaced it.

However, I was pleased to see Liam Gallagher and his new band performing. I forgot what the name of it was , but I tend to just call it Oasis minus Noel Gallagher. I'm not sure if Liam's singing voice is declining in quality or if he just doesn't sound as good without Noel backing him up, but something was wrong. The band in general just doesn't have that same energy it once had years ago. It's a shame really. I think Noel was the heart and soul of the band, and the conflict between Liam and Noel just crushed their spirits in several ways. Also, the Spice Girls, the fucking Spice Girls, sounded as terrible as they've ever been. I can't believe people call their moaning music. The general public was hyped about them reuniting? It's like if The Back Street Boys decided to reunite with the New Kids on the Block... no one would want to see that...

FUCK... YOU

Anywho they sounded absolutely godawful, there's not much more I can say about them other than I nearly grabbed a shotgun and blasted the brain out of my head.  Oh and, when I want to see a reunion on The Olympic in Britain, I expect Black Sabbath or Led Zeppelin in the future.  Not the godamn Spice Girls.  Earlier there was a actually a decent cover of The Who's pinball wizard... then followed by the worst shit on the charts that shouldn't have any place at a celebration of British culture and music. Though Fatboy Slim was cool... he's always been cool...

Any man who gives us a music video featuring Walken dancing is a cool guy

I was happy that we finally got the Monty Python tribute I've been anticipating. Eric Idle got on stage and sang Always look on the Brights ide of Life. It was fun seeing Prince William sing along and seeing Idle dance along with Roman legions and Bollywood dancers ( though I think the segment with the bollywood dancers went on a little too long.) Sure it wasn't as overthetop as I was hoping it would be

Alright, the guy in the cannon was pretty overthetop

but I think the tribute captured the overall spirit of Monty Python well. It was silly goofy, and while I do prefer John Cleese, Eric Idle did a great job. Also it was hilarious seeing NBC censor the word "shit" for the overly sensitive audience in America. We Americans have a proud tradition of getting butt hurt over the use of swear words not used in a vulgar or unnecessary fashion. Speaking of NBC, I was pissed at them for cutting an entire hour of really good acts because they wanted to show their newest shitcom instead of... you know... The Olympics. If I wanted to see a comedy about sick animals I would count the number of flies I've swatted at in one day and submit the results to PETA.

This doesn't make me want to stop beating elephants,
it makes me want to beat attractive models
and offer them as sacrifice to Jungle nomads.

Overall, I think it was a mixed ceremony with some great moments, and some bad moments. I'm looking forward to Brazil, but I don't know there's something about being surrounded by British culture that I'll miss during the next Olympics. I grew up a fan of a lot of British things, Harry Potter and the like, and so I've grown rather fond of Britain and their people as a result. The handing off of the Olympics to Brazil was an interesting part of the ceremony, with people who looked like they had glow-in-the-dark lego heads

The guys on the right, maybe I'm just
growing crazy, but those look like lego heads.

So over all I think this has been a great Olympic games with a lot of memorable moments, and I can certainly say it's been a fantastic two weeks to be British if only I was British. There was definitely a large amount of pride during this ceremony as Britain proved that they could host a successful Olympic games despite constant scepticism.  I'm not actually British, but a man can dream ya know.

I enjoyed the Olympics, but they only brought the Queen bad memories...

The music industry: product of class warfare

Today was the Outerlands festival in San Francisco. While I'm not going to have a chance of attending it due to being at a giants game, a thought occured to me. This was one of the biggest Outerlands festivals on record and the primary age group in attendance were young adults and teenagers like me. They came to see people with talent, legends and legends in the making who write their songs and sing with passion. I think our generation is finally fed up with the music that's been handed down to them by huge record labels. We're rebelling by listening to music that doesn't belong to us, music created by past generations, music that WE can connect with. This isn't the party generation as most music labels would like us to believe. We're a generation screwed over by past generations, can't pay for college, can't get jobs, stuck with a massive pile of debt. We're angry, we're pissed off. We don't want to waste our time partying, we want our voices to be heard! Perhaps the music industry is like a propeganda wing of the Republican party. They want us to ignore the social issues plagueing our generation and instead believe that everything is ok, we should be haveing fun. More and more of us are discovering that their brainwash campaign is nothing but that, a brainwash campaign. The only reason Nicki Minaj, Justin Bieber and Rhianna keep appearing in the music charts is because they have large corporations giving them money. Money to try and turn all of us into stupid apathetic slobs. If all of them disapeared from the charts today, I don't think anyone would care. People may even be celebrating because all of those dipshits who's main purpose is to display how great it is to be wealthy will be gone from public conciousness. That's another thing that I find suspicious about the billboard 100. It's filled with songs that are affectionate towards money. I have no clue if the conservatives fund these acts (don't mean to steryotype, but most prefer country, the downfall of country music is a rant I'll save for a different post) but they both seem to have the same philosophy. "Fuck the poor, fuck the middle class, only the wealthy matter." Well, A new revolution in music is occuring and we're all preparing to fight the 1% overlords of mainstream music. Will you join me in overthrowing the pop tyrants comrades?

tired of being tired

I'm tired, and exhausted and lazy and feeling lazy and just generally meh. I'm also tired of being tired and having nothing to talk about other than the fact that I'm tired. Luckily this is my last day of camp and thus you'll begin to see a post that doesn't revolve around me rambling. Fear not! In a few days I'll be blasting Michael Bay the Republican party and whatever other thing there is in the universe to blast.

NSFW... especially if you work at Samsung.

So, today I discovered that our smart phones and tablets... technologies of the future really just want to fuck us in the ass. Sort of like the infamous scene in the Big Lebowski when Walter is smashing all those car windows... except right now I really want to smash the windows feature on my phone. So, I tried using my phone to update my blog, I tried twenty times to update my blog using my phone. Probably took longer than that. I used at least 20 sites to do it. I had the blog fully typed out, and in a moment of stubborness worthy of a Donkey or a Donkey Kong I refused to type it out again after it wouldn't post said message on my blog. It was my moment of writing absolute garbage, and typing it out again when I didn't feel the same way felt wrong. So I tried copying and pasting using my phone, took me a while, but just like learning to ride a digital binary based bicycle I got the hang of it. So I posted it again... nothing... I tried posting it again... nothing. I began pulling my hair out, or trying to pull my hair out before I realized the Patrick Stewart bald head look wouldn't compliment my facial features well. It took me a while to realize that the mobile blogger feature is... the most useless creation ever made. Wanna make a new blog every time you send a text message? Do you want to eventually make over 1000 blogs floating around in cyberspace never to be found or read again? If you're not interested, then you're probably more sane than the people at google who made blogger messenger. So I decided to go to the full blogger site rather than the pathetic piece of turd mobile site and tried posting my fully written blog there... and then I nearly threw my indestructibly cased smart phone at my less indestructible TV. It wouldn't let me paste onto blogger. So I asked how to post from my phone to blogger on Yahoo answers. I still haven't heard a response, because when you try to ask a valid question on that site, no one is inteligent enough to actually answer valid questions. So I tried saving my blog as a draft on my email account and then posting it to blogger through my tablet. I go into the email section on my tablet... and what do you know... I discover it'll probably take an entire century to finally load said draft. So I try copying and pasting the draft as a Facebook note on my phone, and using my tablet to copy and paste the note... but it wouldn't copy. So after every single option was exhausted and preparing to form an angry mob destroying the worlds supply of technology I gave a last ditch effort to paste the fully written blog onto my blog by using my phone. Low and behold I discover you have to click on thr HTML button... the godamn fucking piece of shit mocking insidious HTML button glaring at me the entire time. Of course this all could have been avoided by using my computer... but then I wouldn't have had something to rant about, now would I? Technology: loves you when you love it, hates you when you hate it.

So... tired... no creativity... no conjuntion words

Blarghada blarhh angry angry rant rant... rage... witty remark... punchline... intellectual point... more arguing... positive statement... conclusion... joke after conclusion. If I'm too exhausted to be angry at the world, I may as well post a formula for being angry at the world. Watching over groups of Children and lifting heavy objects for several hours has left me in a stupor... and willtomorrow. I'm not Superman... or Ironman... it.any superhero for that matter. I don't know where I was going with that metaphor, but it must have sounded good a few seconds ago. The story behind how this post finally came to be will be discussed in my next blog... and damn do I have a lot to say.

Welcome ladies and gentlemen to... STUFFI tried ex

I tried making this more pixelated in photoshop,
but Photoshop has been out against me since I
cheated on it with paint.

The world sucks.  Perhaps not all of it, but the aspects of the world that I enjoy discussing. My name is Ryan Roth Morgan, I'm currently 18 years old... (hello future 30 year old self, how's it hanging?) and a game design major at Academy of Art University.  I enjoy giving my often passionately reserved opinions on Culture, Popular culture, Political culture, daily annoyances culture, people who annoy me culture, and culture culture.Now you may be thinking "How does a guy who plans on making video games for a living have any sort of qualification to speak about any of these things?".  To which I reply "That is bullshit Mr. Douchey McCbaggington hypothetical reader, you are stereotyping my species!".  We live in the age of information, thus the internet has provided countless news pieces, secret documents. and pictures of cats that were once under media control.  Therefore I have just as little a life as everyone else in my generation, but I'm a bit more outspoken.  So everyone gather around the pixelated campfire image on this post and I'll tell you scary stories of former Alaskan governors who spout gibberish, directors who continually make worse films, and people being mean to me on Subways.  Spooky stuff.  Try not to wet the bed at night in fear.